Dear Bloggie,
I’m still on cloud nine (my book is ranked 461!!!!!!) but now I’m a little gigly. What happened was I was reading the feedback from my fellow inkpopers when I came a cross one that went like this:
As you can tell[,] I still haven't forgive[n] her
If this is written in a journal-type format, you might consider having her call "my mom and dad" just plain "Mom" and "Dad." Because the journal knows who they are. It adds a little bit of authenticity to it.
You have a few names that are spelled a little too "special," I think. We have Lindsea, Vicie, and Ami. Can you make her just Amy, or just Vicky? Even Vickie? Too many "young like" spelling takes the reader out of the story. One or two are fine, but you want to keep us involved. Wait, now there is also Gorgy and Markey. Why are they spelled so strangely? Also, halfway through chapter one, Renee gets an accept over her name. Be careful.
Some guy she just met started groping her in the pool? Holy crap, she needs to slap him, and slap him hard. That's so not okay. I feel bad that she was more worried about the cotton balls in her shirt than the fact that this dude just practically assaulted her.
Oh my gosh, why is she letting him get away with this!? THE GUY JUST GROPED HER. IN PUBLIC. HE JUST MET HER. WHAT THE FRICK. ...AND HE DOES IT A SECOND TIME? Thank god she runs away, that is so... dklgjghldakj!!! UGH! All right, so you've got me hooked into the story and not liking your main character a little bit, and really not liking this Willie guy (what a great name, btw). One of the things that I really like is that I can actually see someone writing like this in her journal. It's believable.
Her list at the top of chapter two--NICE! Especially #1. Sisters everywhere can not their heads in agreement at this. It's so hard to get out of a sibling's shadow. And the balance with the second list: perfect!
She thinks that Cosmo is inappropriate filth? Well, she is fourteen, so I guess I can take that, but... wow, that's a young mindset. Nicely characterized.
Err... okay, very nicely characterized teenager moment, "My family needs professional help." It sounds more like she needs a good slapping, if she's going to get away with yelling rude things like that to her parents--yikes!
So far, I have to say that I'm really enjoying this. She makes an interesting character who isn't very likable (most fourteen year olds aren't), but she's definitely believable. I can't wait to see what else she gets up to. Definitely tossed on my picks!
Angela Ellis, NOT likeable?!? I never thought of this. Maybe because Angela is sorta me….hmm this is troubling on a whole other level. The commenter is 23, not that old, but I guess she considers being 14 an immature age. That’s half true, but I guess I thought only guys were immature at 14, not girls. Again this is troubling.
But I guess she liked the book, which I’m happy about, but the fact she doesn’t like Angela bothers me. I love Angela Ellis! She is sarcastic and witty and is just overall a little on the wild side. She says things that are odd and brash and only realizes that maybe she shouldn’t have said those things after when they blow up in her face. Yes, she is boy crazy and a little desperate (as another commenter pointed out – but in a funny I like this book way-) but she is who she is. Plus, Cosmo is inappropriate – there is a reason my mom won’t let me get it or even Cosmo Girl!
OK, I need to get ready for a party so more later.
~ Libby
2 comments:
I ♥ Angela Ellis. And you. In a straight friendly way............. *CREEPER FACE* hahah nah jaykay. Don't listen to her. She probably has Cosmo wedged too far up her ass.
Wow I was right, you are very sheltered. Cosmo isn't porn, you know that right? And CosmoGirl only mentions sex once every issue to warn girls to protect themselves against STDs, the rest of it is boring fashion nonsense. You really really REALLY need to listen to that commenter. She makes some very good points. You'll find out when you're older if you don't want to listen now.
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