Sunday, January 31, 2010

Friends


I would like to start by saying hi, hi to anyone and everyone who has taken their time to read this. Ok, now lets cut the crap and begin. I could start by raving on about how this is my first blog, but I know nobody cares so lets get to the topic at hand: Friends. Hate them, love them, no matter which, they shape who you are. I can tell you right now I have no idea where I fall. If you asked me this a year ago, even only three months ago I wold say that I loved them , that friends made life worth living, well that was before The Incident. I'm about to give you the best advice you will ever get so listen up, NEVER EVER FORM A GROUP OF THREE FRIENDS!!! No matter how nice the third person might be, never form a group of three. Always keep the numbers even , or you will find out the hard way that it sucks. Trust me I know.
I've had a best friend for five years now, we met in third grade. I never really had any close friends in the past except for a girl in kindergarten that I blew off since I wanted to be popular - something I still regret to this day since she was the sweets person you will ever meet- so when I met her everything seemed to be awesome. That was until September. My school goes from preschool to eighth grade, so when this new girl came in during our eighth grade year I felt bad so I welcomed her. She was really nice, quiet but nice. But I started to notice that her and my best friend were really getting close, so I got upset but kept it to myself, thinking it was the new girl who was trying to steal her. In December I finally had it and picked a fight over something trivial, something that normally would have meant nothing and we would have been friends with in two days, but instead the two girls got closer. I was apologizing to the new girl on Facebook -which she did except and apologized back so we are friends now - when my "best friend" jumped in. Lets just say it wasn't the new girl who was the problem. My friend was getting tired of me, what she said - over Facebook I have to add so other people did see - really hurt, but it opened my eyes.
I acted like a moron and begged her to let us talk it out come Monday since it all happened on a Friday after school - the Facebook fight, not the first fight - but come Monday were both silent since I felt that if I had to beg her to be my friend then she wasn't worth it. I decided to be the bigger person and gave her a gift for Christmas like I was doing for all the girls in my class, ( I have really small class since I attend a Catholic school, only 11 girls including me and 18 boys in our eighth grade) which caused her to feel bad and apologize. But trust me, our problems are still there.
We never talked them out, we never truly made up. Instead of best friends we now only friends though neither one of us will say it out loud. It still hurts even though it's been a month. Some people might say "Stop acting pathetic and move on" but how? I don't make friends easily and I only have eight other girls in my class besides me, my ex best friend, and the new girl/ new friend! Most of those girls have best friends! The only good thing is that next year I get a fresh start with high school.
So remember never make a group of three and if you think anything might be wrong in a friendship, talk it out before it gets ugly because losing a best friend is worst than losing a guy. When you lose a guy who do you run to for comfort and support? Your best friend. When you lose your best friend who do you run to? No one. I found this quote online that sums it all up, it's part of a song by MXPX.( don't know who they are, I find the quote on a sight of friendship quotes)

It breaks my heart; it makes me sad to think of all the times we had. You made me laugh and you made me cry. And all that I can do is sigh and wonder why.

Thanks for reading, comment if you feel like it. Ciao.
~ Carrie