Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Hello There, I Just Wanted To Say A Formal Goodbye To This Blog

Dear Bloggie,
     I know I haven't posted here for months, but I felt like I needed on last post. My farewell post. I've moved to Tumbr, though I have like three. My public one, my private writing one, and my private-private one. The second and third is where I post my struggles -- though I won't go into detail on this blog. I just want to say is that I hope others have done better then me. That they are healthy and OK, because I'm not. I've lost 70 pounds, though I still have a whole bunch more to go. My original ideal weight was 125. Now it's 111/110. I'm nowhere close to that weight. Today I realized I've been in this for nearly 5 months. Crazy. I originally thought I was going to get better, but I'm only getting worse. I'm sorry that I stopped posting here, but life has become chaotic. I'm so sorry and I hope everyone has a good life. I won't make any false promises to change my ways. I can't. All I can do is hope that once I reach 111 I will still be OK enough.
                                         Your's Forever,

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

No Pain No Gain

Dear Bloggie,
        So I've lost over ten pounds. I've known this since Friday, but I've been apprehensive of letting you know. I'm terrified of gaining even a pound of it back. It's hard.  
      I knew going into this that it was going to be physically tough (No Pain, No Gain) but it's not the physical part that has been hard for me. I mean, I haven't really established any real exercise routine (just being at camp is about it for now) and it's pretty easy not to eat stuff, but there is this whole mental part that has been hard. It's hard to even say. I don't quite understand it for myself yet. It's like, I have this irrational fear of gaining weight. It's like, once you start loosing it, the mere thought of gaining it back is so horrifying that you would do anything to not go back to that number.
    Now, onto the point of this post. As you know I'm on a 400/500/600 calorie diet. I wish I had never told my mother, because she has told my aunt, my Godmother (whose also my aunt), and her best friend (who I  consider an aunt), all of who have given me long winded lectures. I'm tired of being lecture. I see their point, it's not like I don't rationally see that 500 calories can be considered very little to eat, but at the same time I just can't eat more calories. Not with the progress I have already made being so easily reversible. Maybe once I come back from vacation (I'm going to New Jersey for four days and three nights starting Sunday) and my mom FINALLY signs me up for a gym, I will start eating more. But for now I'm staying with my currant diet plan.
     Because this is becoming such a mental and emotional thing for me, I'm going to stop blogging about it for a while. I'll blog the weight I have lose, but not the calories I'm eating or the mental part. I think it's time I keep some stuff to myself. Just for now.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

So Yeah, Time To Get Sorta Serious

       So I've lost five or more pounds in the last two weeks. I'm was really surprised to be truthful. You see, I'm sorta on this diet. Officially I'm sorta telling people that it's under 1000 calories a day, but to be truthful I wouldn't be happy if I ate 1000 calories. So I guess I'm on a 500 calorie diet though I wish I could be on a 300 calorie diet. But 300 calories is little when you realize how many calories are in food. I went to the store yesterday with my mom to pick up somethings my mom needs to make the dessert I'm bringing to the Junior Leaders potluck on Friday (of which, even though I'm bring it, I can't eat because it's dessert and dessert is never healthy), and I almost had a meltdown. I kept checking all the labels on the foods I want to eat and then almost cried when I realized I can't touch them at least until my birthday (which is when I need to fit into this beautiful dress I saw online for my Sweet Sixteen even though I can actually have it made basically in any size, I want to look good in it, and I'm not sure if I'm going to do it in this color and please ignore the price -- I'm well aware I'm out of my mind). I left there very depressed to say the least, but it will be worth it in the end.

      I've picked up many diet tips like how sugar free gum helps you curve cravings and burn calories. Not many, but if you chew a stick of gum for an hour you can burn 10-11 calories, and adding how many calories your burning by chewing gum and not picking at food, that's 35-40 calories and hour! I know, not a lot, but it's a start. I also drink A LOT of water (strangely I don't need to pee more then usual) and I've also tried the bouillon cube thing (if you put a bouillon cube into hot water you can make soup that is only 5 to 15 calories depending on the calories in your bouillon cube; sadly I haven't found the one that is only 5 calories) and I've been eating a lot of salad with a piece of chicken breast and two table spoons (the serving size) of light French dressing. Then I'm at camp and this week I'm with Unit A (the 5 and 6 year-olds) so I've been on my feet all day (I swear most of the five pounds have been lost just in the past three days).

     I had 780-810 calories on Monday (which is a lot if you ask me, but at least I'm under 1000, even though I sorta binged that day by accident) and I had 497 yesterday (which is getting better) and today I've had 310 by now but I haven't eaten dinner yet. I'm going to probably do the boullion cub thing with a piece of chicken breast. I'm adding the chicken breast because if I don't then my mom will give me another talk about the line between eating healthy and being malnourished. Which is ridiculous since if you look at me you'll seen that there is no freaking way I'm malnourished. But I guess one of my aunts (she's actually my mom's first place cousin so that makes her my second place cousin, but since she's in her thirties I call her my aunt) suffered from an eating disorder when she was like in her teens or early twenties and all she did was eat salad and exercise like crazy until she was like really sick. Like  you could definitely tell she was anorexic or something.

      So when I said that all I wanted to eat was salad and chicken my mom gave me a speech. Then yesterday when I told her I wish I could eat ice cream, but I already had consumed 400 calories for that day, she gave me another speech saying 400 calories is basically nothing. Which is a ridiculous things to say because 400 is a big number. She was all like "Most diets are supposed to be over 1000 calories" and I was like "Over 1000 calories! That's nearly half a pound!" Which led to another talk about vitamins and nutrition and blah, blah, blah. All the stuff I already know of because of the internet. I plan in taking vitamins soon. So I can stay healthy and all. Plus, taking a few pills of Vitamin D a day will burn about 225 calories a day! I do a lot of research.

      Overall this is going quite well. I just need to keep the eye on the prize. And when I seriously need something sweet I just drink Diet Coke. 0 calories but definitely good. Once the school year starts I'll being eating less calories because I'm going to do the bouillon cube thing for lunch. I'd say wish me luck, but I don't need it. You know why? Because I have this.

OK, I don't really, but I wish I did. If he were real, I would marry Neville. I'm in love with Neville Longbottom. Why? I'm not sure. I think it's because he's always been the good guy. He's an all around good person who cares for his friends and even though he's sorta dorky, he is willing to die for what he believes in. I loved the part in Deathly Hallows Part 2 when he was all like "It doesn't matter if Harry is dead, people die everyday. Friends, family." And then he said more and basically ended it with saying that Voldemort will die on vain and pulled the Sword of Gryffindor out of the sorting hat like the BMAF he is. If only he were real, is only....

            P.S. There is this Facebook like page that I totally agree with. It's called "Only Neville can go into battle in a knitted cardigan & still look Badass."Which is totally true:

Point Proven.



Dear Bloggie,
       It's been quite a while since I blogged, but here I am again. As you all know, the last Harry Potter film has come out and broke all these records and also broke all fans hearts because it is officially over. Unless J.K. Rowling writes more to the series -- which I hope she doesn't because I 1) don't want anything else to happen to Harry after all the crap he went through, 2) don't want to follow the life of a middle aged Harry or any of his children, and 3) already hated the fact that the author had put that ridiculous nineteen years later thing into the book that had to be added to the movie. As much as I love Harry Potter and his world (even though I never actually read the books), Harry Potter's tale is over. Time for J.K. Rowling to write something else, but not through the point of view of any of the Harry Potter characters or their children. No, time to start over. Anymore will just ruin things. It would never be able to live up to the past books. It would be like Extras by Scott Westerfeld. It was only planned out as a trilogy until he decided to throw in a companion fourth novel. No surprise that it couldn't live up to the first three. I don't want that to happen to Harry Potter.

     While I'm sad that Harry Potter has ended (though I'm going to see it again tomorrow for the third time), I am starting to ready get excited about something else. Three words:

The Official poster, though I'm pretty sure it's not the official official poster,
just the one to see how much interest it can generate and get the movie out there.

May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favor.....

Monday, June 13, 2011

Dear Bloggie, It's Been A While......

Dear Bloggie,
     I know by now you probably thought that I had stopped blogging. In truth, I've been dying to get back to it. May was the best month of my life (OK, maybe life, but definitely this year) and June is going good and dandy as well. In May I was tech crew for my school's production of Anything Goes (which was amazing, the set itself was phenomenal). I was thinking about going to the cast party, but then it sorta got canceled. You see, the girl who was hosting had the type of parents that don't care if you drink, do drugs, or have sex. Personally, if I held a cast party it would be filled with ginger ale, pizza, and chips because there is no way in hell my mother would let me have anything of the other things above at a party. But this girl's parents would (may I include that the girl is only a sophomore). I wanted to go for the high school party experience, not for sex or drugs. Though, is I'm being honest, I probably would have drunk some, but not a lot because I don't really know the cast and I don't want to be known as That-Sloppy-Drunk-Freshman. 

    But sadly one of the cast members parents found out about what would be at the party and threatened to call the police so it was cancelled at the last minute. It was sorta re-scheduled at this junior named Jordan's house, but he lives all the way in Avon so many people didn't want to go. Plus, sex, drugs and alcohol was not going to be tolerated by his parents at his party so I'm guessing that's why many people didn't want to go. 

     Still, I got to drink that night anyway. We (the cast and crew) had gone out to eat at this restaurant down the street from my school after the last show. One of the girls at my table had ordered a virgin strawberry daiquiri. Somehow, her order must have gotten mixed up at the bar because when she took a sip, it was not virgin. She passed it to the other people at our table (two freshman girls I'm friends with and this sophomore I had made friends with during the show) and we all took a sip and let me tell you, the it was strong. She drank like half of it by herself, but after a while she stared to feel really buzzed so me and this guy named Gordon (both of us who had ordered our own strawberry daiquiris in hope that they would also be alcoholic, but we had no such luck) split the rest of hers into out own cups. He went first and put a lot so mine lost the taste of alcohol after a few or more sips. Still, I was happy. My first high school drinking situation. It made me realize I am growing up and I'm starting to experience new things. Some I'm going to turn down (drugs like crack, heroine, acid, all things I WILL NEVER TRY), but there are things that I will do. Like drinking and I'll probably try weed by the time I graduate. I do go to hippie school after all. Either way, I'll try to make good choices, ones that I won't look bad an think "Wow, I was an idiot. Why did I ever do that!?"

    There are plenty of more things that happened in May and I haven't even gotten to early June, but I'll save that for another day. 

Thursday, June 2, 2011

By Way Of Apologizing For Not Posting In A Really, REALLY, Long Time

    Isn't pretty!

                               ~ Ariana

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Evie J ( of the Peace, Love, & Books blog) GIVEAWAY!

Dear Bloggie,
      I know I've mentioned her before, but there is this blogger that I follow named Evie J. She used to have some of her books up on inkpop a while ago, and even though she left the site after making the top five three times, I follow her blog so I still know about her. Well, right now she has another awesome giveaway going on. Not for a blog layout like last time, but instead for one of her favorite books, Between Shades of Gray. Not only is she giving away the book, but it also comes with two book marks, a bookplate, and a soundtrack download card! I REALLY HOPE I WIN THIS ONE. I've been wanting the book ever since I first saw her review. Getting it this way, well, that would just be too awesome. To enter the giveaway click here. May the odds be ever in your favor.
                  ~ XOXO,

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Osama Bin Laden: How Is This Solving Anything?

Dear Bloggie,
    By now you've probably heard that the U.S. killed Osama Bin Laden, the leader of the terrorist group Al Qaeda. Now many people are happy and are celebrating, but from the moment I heard about it and heard that all these people were happy, all I could think was "What gave us the right?"

    I'm not trying to justify his actions. Obviously he wasn't a very good person. He had issues and organized that worst attack on American soil to date, September 11. He killed thousands and thousands of people. But just because he seemed cruel in our eyes, doesn't mean we had any right to kill him. He had wives. Children. Siblings. He was a person and a human being. We have no right to take away his life. Capture him. Yeah. Give him a trial. Yeah. Give him so many life sentences that he will never ever see anything besides a prison for the rest of his life, yeah. But kill him. No.
     I'm very much against the death penalty, no matter what the crime. It's weird that I can believe in abortion and euthanasia, but I can't believe in killing criminals. Maybe it's because with abortion I see it as the women's choice since she the one who has to carry the baby for nine months. With euthanasia the person wants to die too. Plus, they are facing a death soon enough anyway. At least this way it can be done with the least pain. But the death penalty, your just killing them. It's not out of need or out of a want not to let the person suffer, but it's out of revenge. And then how they let the family watch the person be put to death. It's just horrible. And what happens if you have the wrong person? You can't go back and revoke the penalty. It's too late.

   Now in the case of Osama, there is most likely be no suddenly surfacing proof that he didn't kill all these people or that he was really innocent. Still, what gives us the right to kill him. Call me a hippie (which I sorta am, more and more each day I spend t art school, the hippie retreat of the world), but killing isn't going  to solve anything. Killing and killing and killing. That's all our world does. Why can't we all be peaceful and just love. Look at the hippies of the sixties. Yeah maybe they're were stoned most of the time, but so what? Hello, I go to art school; I know plenty of people who either smoke pot or have at least tried it. I know many people who very openly want it to be made legal. I'm not really going into what my view on it is right now (it would way too long and already this post is becoming longer then I originally expected) but I think the hippies were on to something.

    They just wanted peace and love. I wish their movement worked. I wish our world was at peace. I wish I didn't worry all the time that the plane I hear overhead may crash and kill me or others. I wish I never had to worry about riding a plane because the mere thought leaves me very paranoid. I wish I would never have to think of the possibility of World War III or that Al Qaeda may now want to get back at the U.S. for taking down its leader. I'm fifteen, I shouldn't be scared about these things.

    More then that, I wish I could say that I'm just some crazy paranoid teenager whose thoughts are nothing like her friends and fellow pupils. But I'm not. I'm not the only one who thinks these thing and I'm not the only one that worries and who is sacred. Adults can criticize my generation and say we're lazy and care more about TV and video games, but it's not true. We're a generation that has been exposed to the media since birth, leaving us very knowledgeable about the world around us. In some ways, this has robbed of parts of our childhoods. I was four at the time of 9/11. From an early age I saw our world at war. TV, war, news. My generation knows all about it. Most of us have our own opinions and voices. We don't all always use them, but we all have them. It sucks sometimes knowing so much about war. Knowing that you want so much but will most likely only get half of it. If we were hippies, we would never have to worry about any of this ever again.

In hopes that we can all get along and live as hippies,
here's some inspiration. My favorite song from ANY
musical EVER. I have this supreme want to just sing this
with my friends and the people I care about. Laughing and
singing and hoping that one day we (the human race) can
 let the sunshine and we can live happily in the sun like our
hippie predecessors dreamed of. When I die one day (In
a very, very, VERY long time) I want this song played at
                                        my funeral. Hippie until the end. :)


Monday, May 2, 2011

What Musicals Mean to Me

Dear Bloggie,
         I went to see Hair today. You know, the musical. It was so wonderful that I almost cried. Especially when I saw (insert character name that I can't really write or it would ruin the story) dead at the end. You see, I love musicals. I wish I could sing and dance so I could be in them, but I can't. So instead I just love seeing them. Most of the musicals I have seen are the movie versions, though for the first time last February I saw one live at the big theater in my town, the Bushnell. It's called Spring Awakening and it was just fantastic. I bought the CD shortly after (the CD is of the original Broadway cast, of which includes Lea Michell for those Glee fans reading) and it's one of my most listened to CDs.

      While I love musicals, I'm not exactly the type that loves happy ones. My mom wants to see Wicked in the fall, and yeah, I've been wanting to for a couple of years now, but I'm not sure if I really want to anymore. Not because I don't think it's good -- I've heard quite the opposite -- but because it seems too happy. I know it sounds weird, but I guess the sadder musicals like Spring Awakening and Hair and Rent (which I've seen parts of the movie version so I know what happens) move me more. And that's why I love musicals, because they're an experience. Sitting in a room with hundreds of other people as actors stand on stage not so much acting, but becoming the characters they play. It's an emotional experience that moves me in a way that just listening to a CD or just watching a movie can't. When you combine music with a story and acting you create something so amazing.

   There is a list of musicals I want to see one day:

     Even though I prefer the sadder musicals, both Avenue Q and Chicago are happier ones. In the case of Avenue Q, I make the exception because it's funny. My friend Jake and I are always singing songs from it. In the case of Chicago, I watched the movie version with Renee Zellweger and Catherine Zeta Jones and loved it so much that I want to see it.

     I'm trying to convince my mom to see West Side Story next month when it comes to the Bushnell. Hopefully there are still tickets left and we can go. We'll see.
                      ~ XOXO,

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Book Blog

Dear Bloggie,
     After asking for name suggestions yesterday, I finally choose one for my new book review blog.  The Babbling Book Queen! Thank you so much to the wonderful Jennifer (a.k.a The DiVine Writer) for the suggestion, it was perfect.
          ~ XOXO,

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Blog Name Ideas Please!

Dear Bloggie,
         I've decided to move my reviews onto a separate blog from my personal one (this one). Any ideas what I should call the review blog? I was thinking "Stranger then Fiction" because I like to read so many contempary fiction (realistic) novels, but then I started thinking it may be interpreted as a nonfiction blog. I don't know. Comment with ideas PLEASE!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Review: Anatomy Of A Boyfriend by Daria Snadowsky

Title: Anatomy Of A Boyfriend
Author: Daria Snadowsky
Genre: Young Adult, Romance, Sex, First Love
Pages: 259
Rating: A-

Synopsis: Before this all happened, the closest I'd ever come to getting physical with a guy was playing the board game Operation. Okay, so maybe that sounds pathetic, but it's not like there were any guys at my high school who I cared to share more than three words with, let alone my body.
Then I met Wes, a track star senior from across town. Maybe it was his soulful blue eyes, or maybe my hormones just started raging. Either way, I was hooked. And after a while, he was too. I couldn't believe how intense my feelings became, or the fact that I was seeing-and touching-parts of the body I'd only read about in my Gray's Anatomy textbook. You could say Wes and I experienced a lot of firsts together that spring. It was scary. It was fun. It was love.
And then came fall.

First Impression: I've seen this book around for a while now (it was published in 2008) but had never truely looked into it until just this year. Shortly after Christmas I was at Borders with all the money I had received in gift cards, when I noticed it. I'm not going to lie, it's the fact that this story has to do with first love and first sex and all those firsts that I picked it up. One the back, above the summery, it reads "Snadowsky’s debut novel is an unusually honest portrayal of a teen girl’s sexual discovery . . .  Like Forever, this sensitive, candid novel is sure to find a wide audience among curious teens." — booklist This was a good enough reason to buy it for me. 
Full Impression/Review: Dominique Baylor, a high school senior from Fort Meyers, Florida, aspires to be a doctor and cares more about reading Grey's Anatomy (the actual medical book, not the TV show or anything to do with it) then she cares about boys. When not competing on her school's science quiz team, she can be found at home playing the board game Operation with her parents. That all changes when she meets Wes, a shy fellow senior and local track star. Instantly she's hooked. After a couple months of exchanging hundreds of IMs and a dozen or more e-mails, she finally admits her feelings for Wes and makes the first move. And so starts their relationship.
     Both unexperienced in love (and sex), they prove to be eager to learn and so things get pretty hot and heavy just on their first date (they run past first base and explore second to the fullest). After a couple more months, they are ready to go All The Way Home and lose it on Prom Night, as cliché. 
    At a first glance, this novel could sound redundant, cliché, and overdone a million and one times, but I'm not writing a review from the perspective of a first glance. Even going so far as naming her an inspiration for the novel, it's obvious that Snadowsky is a fan of Judy Blume and took a hint from Forever... (1975), a novel that also follows the first love and the exploration of sex from the point of view of a couple in their senior year of high school. 
   Dom is mature and goal-oriented. She has her sites set on getting excepted into Stanford and becoming a doctor. On the other hand, her experience with guys is limited to kissing party games from her earlier teen years and the bodies of the drawn male figures in her medical books. In many ways she is the polar opposite of her best friend Amy, a rather free spirited artist who is saving her virginity until college, but does everything else. When Dom meets Wes at the big football game the day after Christmas, she finds herself really falling for him. As the months pass they start dating, exploring, and loving each other. By Prom they do feel ready and decide to take that next step. Everything seems to be going well for the happy couple who, though are off to different colleges in the fall, strongly believe they will weather the tempest of long distance relationship and come out on top. But then fall does come and things change.
   While this book is filled to the brim with sex, it's not the racy and sensual sex that is the making of a hardcore romance novels. Instead it's very realistic, frank, insightful, graphic, and even somewhat scientific -- as are the thoughts that come to Dom as she sees a certain where-the-sun-don't-shine part of Wes (of any guy) for the first time. Dom's view on sex shine through clearly -- she's the type of girl who believes in love before sex, another thing that makes her the opposite of her casual hookup type best friend. The novel isn't the most original idea put out there, but Snadowsky brings a fresh and new look onto this theme. Unlike many books, Wes is neither a loner/outcast, or jerk/ jock. He is simply the average teen male -- good and bad included. 
    In her debut novel, Snadowsky weaves together a story that feels both old and new bring up many of the essential and basic questions of relationships: Is sex love? Is there a difference between first love and true love? How can you tell? Like Forever... before it, Anatomy Of A Boyfriend an authentic and candid story sensitively but frankly explores sex in our modern day society, experiencing it for the first time, and dealing with it in a mature way. 

                                         ~ XOXO, 

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Review: Where She Went by Gayle Forman

Title: Where She Went
Author: Gayle Forman
Series: Sequel to If I Stay 
Genre: Young Adult, Romance, Social Issues
Rating: B or B+

Synopsis: It's been three years since the devastating accident . . . three years since Mia walked out of Adam's life forever.

Now living on opposite coasts, Mia is Juilliard's rising star and Adam is LA tabloid fodder, thanks to his new rock star status and celebrity girlfriend. When Adam gets stuck in
New York by himself, chance brings the couple together again, for one last night. As they explore the city that has become Mia's home, Adam and Mia revisit the past and open their hearts to the future and each other.

Told from Adam's point of view in the spare, lyrical prose that defined If I Stay, Where She Went explores the devastation of grief, the promise of new hope, and the flame of rekindled romance.

First Impression: I loved the first book (If I Stay) and had very high expectations for this book. When I first heard that there was going to be a sequel to If I Stay, I was jumping off the walls. Then I heard that it was not through the point of view of the original protagonist (Mia) but instead her boyfriend's, Adam Wilde. I tend not to read books from guys point of views, though I have made exceptions. Adam seemed like a good guy in the first book, but he didn't exactly come off as the type of guy that I really wanted to read a book through his eyes. Now looking back, I think it's because while I loved If I Stay, Forman never fully developed her minor characters. Though it may be because Mia saw most of the people in her life in a perfect, glimmering light.

Full Impression: I read If I Stay a couple of years ago and fell in love with the book that chronicles Mia Hall's "decision" whether "to stay or to go" after a devastating accident claims the life of her parents and her nine year old brother, leaving her in critical condition and a coma. The book had been raw and heartbreaking but at the same time funny and heartwarming. Spoilers: After spending a day or so having an outer body experience (sorta like a ghost except her body was still alive and hooked up to monitors) and reflecting on events that were her reasons to stay, wake up, and try to move on with her life, or go and die with the rest of her family, she wakes up -- though not because she really choose to. 

    Where She Went picks up three years later. Mia went off to Juilliard and left Adam behind. After months of being in his own mental and emotional coma, Adam woke up and wrote heartbreaking and angry songs that propelled his band to stardom. But groupies, money and stardom could not fill the void. Not even music could. Adam has become a living dead thing. Medication for anxiety and sleeping keep him moving. He's tired and numb and lost. Both Mia and her life has become a complete mystery to him. The glorious and loving rockstar god that Mia had painted him as in If I Stay is seemingly gone; left behind is a hurt and pain that has taken over his life and made Mr. Perfect into an emo train wreck. 

    After an interview gone wrong, Adam finds himself wandering New York. As luck would have it, who else would be playing a concert that night but Mia herself. And of course he would just happen to pass by the theater shortly before it begins. After the performance, Mia calls him to her dressing room, they exchange awkward  greetings, and he leaves. It could have ended there had not Mia went after him. With less then 24 hours before they are destined to go in opposite directions (Adam kicking off the band's second tour in London and Mia gearing up for her own journeys abroad with her cello), Mia and Adam experience a "Goodbye Tour" of New York. As the travel through the city, they must face what time and different lives have done to them, what the effects of "staying" after losing almost everything has done to Mia, and what losing Mia has done to Adam. 

    The story is told through alternating chapters of the present and flash backs, much like how If I Stay was written. The only difference is that with If I Stay, those flashbacks played a VERY crucial part in Mia's and the stories development. While it's good to know exactly what happened to Adam and Mia between If I Stay and Where She Went, I found some of the flash backs too slow and some where even unneeded. Chapter thirteen is completely unneeded. It's nine pages that only explore the fact that he did it with some groupies and wasn't the kindest to one in particular that followed him to the next city after a one night stand. I found myself counting down the pages until the flashback chapters would end and the story would once again continue Adam and Mia's adventures through New York. That's never good. 

Cover:  Sigh. I loved the original hardcover version of If I Stay a lot better then the paperback cover. The cover of Where She Went ties in nicely with paperback version of Where She Went, but I wish they had made the hardcover version of the sequel book tie in with the hardcover version of the first. That's not saying that the cover isn't beautiful in it's own right (because it is), I just guess I wanted something a little different.  

Dislikes: To much back story. I wish the author had picked up the pace of the flashbacks and had concentrated on the main story more. Some of the flashbacks were too long and too slow, some where completely unneeded, and some where good, but would have definitely benefited from some editing to cut down the length and pick up the speed. At times it seemed that the author was trying more to reach a certain amount of words or pages per chapter, then she was trying to tell a story. You don't need a lot of words just to say a lot.  
Final Thoughts: Like If I Stay, Where She Went is emotional and raw. I highly recommend that you read If I Stay, but Where She Went also makes a great stand alone book. The good parts were excellent and really helped me connect with Adam, but the good kept on being interrupted by the slow. While maybe this book wasn't perfect, it definitely gave a closure not only to If I Stay, but also to Mia and Adam.


In A Perfect World

Dear Bloggie,

     It's no secret that our world isn't at it's best. War, disease, ect. I know you could say there has always been war, disease, ect., but if you ask me it's just gotten worse in the 20th and 21st century. Why? It probably has to do with technology and money and and all the things that give us a seemingly better life. Then we have to account for human nature. Even if we moved to the moon and started all over, there would always be problems. Conflict. Anger. Rules. Expectations. These are things that surround our society. We can't run from them. If we do move to the moon, what would we do with people who don't stay peaceful and disrupter our utopia? Put in them in jail? Send them back to earth. Kill them? Any of these options can change a utopia into a dystopia. There is just no way that everyone can get along. It's impossible -- unless people are brainwashed. But then not only would everybody be the same (What's the fun in that?), but then we go back to the dystopia world. There is no winning.

    But I still have hope. Sometimes I think our world would be better off being run by the young. They're/we're innocent. At least more innocent then most adults. But then we can get into the whole "Power corrupts" thing and how long would they stay innocent? *Sigh* Still, I can hope.

   There is this song I like by Hollywood Undead called "Young". The beginning lines go like this "We are young, we have heart / Born in this world as it all falls apart / We are strong, we don't belong / Born in this world as it all falls apart". Though sad, this song does seem to show what are world has come. It's also a song that shows the pissed off aspect of all these problems. I remember some kids at my school had sung it for share day, and I had to totally agree. I hate that every generation just seems to make the world worse and then passes it on to the next. In a short time my generation will be inheriting the world...except I'm not sure if I want it. 

We are young, we have heart
Born in this world as it all falls apart
We are strong, we don't belong
Born in this world as it all falls apart

I see the children in the rain like the parade before the pain
I see the love, I see the hate, I see this world that we can make
I see the life, I see the sky, give it all to see you fly
Yes, we wave this flag of hatred but you're the ones who made it

Watch the beauty of all our lies passing right before my eyes
I hear the hate in all your words, all the wars to make us hurt
We get so sick of so sick, we never wanted all this
Medication for the kids with no reason to live

So we march to the drums of the dammed as we come
Watch it burn in the sun, we are numb

We are young, we have heart
Born in this world as it all falls apart
We are strong, we don't belong
Born in this world as it all falls apart

As we walk among these shadows, in these streets, this fields of battle
Take it up, we wear the medal, raise your hands with burning candles
Hear us whisper in the dark, in the rain you see the spark
Feel the beating of our hearts, fleeting hope as we depart

All together, walk alone against all we've ever known
All we've ever really wanted was a place to call our home
But you take all we are, the innocence of our hearts
Made to kneel before the alter as you tear us apart

So we march to the drums of the dammed as we come
Watch it burn in the sun, we are numb

We are young, we have heart
Born in this world as it all falls apart
We are strong, we don't belong
Born in this world as it all falls apart

We will fight or we will fall till the angels save us all
We will fight or we will fall till the angels save us all
We will fight or we will fall till the angels save us all
We will fight or we will fall till the angels save us all

We are young, we have heart
Born in this world as it all falls apart
We are strong, we don't belong
Born in this world as it all falls apart

We are young, we have heart
Born in this world as it all falls apart
We are strong, we don't belong
Born in this world as it all falls apart 


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Giving Myself A Kick In the Ass

Dear Bloggie,
        I've been so supremely lazy these days. I've been using excuses like school and play practice to get off from doing things. You know where that got me? An F in Math and Spanish for the third quarter and no writing or blogging done. But I'm over that. Now the work must start. I got a C on my Math test the other day (which is a great improvement when you think of how much time and effort I put in to it, staying for extra help just so I could understand and not fail), Friday the 29th I'm starting with the big end of the school year musical (I'm just deck crew this time instead of assistant stage manager but I am still excited), I've started working on The Curse of the Good Girl once again, I'm trying to get back into the reading spirit, I'm trying to help out with this charity called Locks of Love (I've donated hair to it in the past and my school wants to host an event so I've signed up to be part of the committee -- though it might not work out because right now I'm the only person who has signed up to be apart of the committee), and I have a goal to make 300 paper cranes. The last one is because my school wants to make 1000 paper cranes (there is a whole legend and true sad true story behind it, here's a link because I don't feel like explaining and I sorta want to keep this post short) and so I've taken it upon myself to make 300 during my Spring Break (I've only made 125 by now, but plan to make 25 more today and again 50 tomorrow and Saturday and Sunday).

    So this is my little update in life. Hope everyone is having a great Spring Break -- well, that is if you are on Spring Break. I know not everybody is because some of my friends had it in March instead -- during the time I was doing the play, I must add, so I didn't get to see them then either. For those who are on break, can you believe it's almost over! School starts on Monday. *sigh* I wish my school gave to weeks like Cat's school does. Though her Spring Break was in March. Whatever.


P.S. I can't wait for May 25th! I'm going to see Panic! At the Disco!!! (The three explication points I put after their name are not normally there, just the one after "Panic". The other three are because I'm excited. I know, I'm acting like you dear readers are idiots. Sorry, I ramble.) In had mentioned them in past posts because I sooooo loved their first CD. I still love their first CD more, but I like their third a lot too. Lets not even talk about their second.

P.P.S I'm in love with this band (Coma Cinema) and this band (Sleeping At Last) right now. Get their music. Now. For Coma Cinema it's free because the singer is very Indie and isn't sighed to any record label (though he should be because of how great I think he is). The second, well I don't know why the CD is up for free on this site. They have their music up on iTunes for $9.99 for the same CD and for their other CD's, but maybe because they aren't that well known they decided to put some of their music up for free in hops that people will be interested enough to buy the rest of it. It worked. I love the CD so much (except for "Clockwork" which does nothing for me even though the word clockwork is my favorite word ever -- for obvious Steampunky reasons, as well as how pretty I think it looks) and definitely plan on buying more of their music once I have more iTunes money.

P.P.P.S. Have I ever mentioned how awesome I think you, my dear readers, are. Though I would appreciate if you commented more. Or at least clicked on those thought box thingies at the end of my posts. Just saying. :)

Friday, April 8, 2011

Poem One: In Flanders Fields

Dear Bloggie,
          April is poetry month, so I thought I would post a poem per day that I enjoy. While I hate writing poetry, I love reading it so I'll definitely have enough for the month. Enjoy. 

In Flanders Fields

by John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Comedy + Horror Movie = A Drama With A Hell Of A Lot Of Teen Angst

Dear Bloggie,
      I had no plans of blogging for a while (seeing as I have a hectic schedule and problems in Math and Spanish -- both of which I failed this semester!--) but something happened today that has caused me to blog. I'm going to admit it; I feel bad and like a major bitch since just a few posts ago (which is also sad in the sense that it was over a month ago but I haven't posted much in the last few months) I had a whole post about bullying and meanness and people who are poop heads, and still I wasn't very nice today. It went down like this.
      First period was science class and my teacher wasn't in today so we had a sub, which basically meant we talked all period. My friend Jake and I were texting (even though we were sitting right next to each other) because he has problems with a girl in our class named Julianna. He had made the huge mistake and had put a status up on Facebook a few weeks ago about how the drama should stop and then added "That goes for you too Julianna".  As you can imagine, she wasn't thrilled.

      So he was texting me about her and saying she was the main person from the whole that she couldn't stand because she acted fake. Though I sorta agree, I told him she wasn't the number one person I considered fake. That person was no one else but Jaine. Remember here, the girl who was Stage Manager for the play?

     You know on the first day of school when you first get to know people you can just tell who you're gonna like and who is going to be irksome? Who will be popular, who will be the stereotypical artsy kids, and who will either be geeks or loners or fall somewhere in the middle? She was just one of those people you knew from the first day where she fell: the populars. But that's not my reason for not liking her. It's because she does act fake, and then goes around calling other people fake. Like I remember the beginning of the school year she was always going on with things like "Glastonbury people are so snotty and so fake and that's why I didn't want to go to Glastonbury High School". All the while, she was acting JUST LIKE SHE SAID THEY WERE! That upset me. Then when she showed up to school orange a in November, well that was just ridiculous. Then you also have her constant flirting! There was this guy in the play that a lot of the girls had crushes on simply because he took off his shirt. Whatever, he was hot and all and there is nothing wrong with thinking as long as you didn't do anything since he had a girlfriend. But she was ALWAYS flirting with him and hanging out with the actors instead of the the Tech people. She kept on acting like she was better then us (as in the tech people), and that was VERY irksome.

     So I told Jake and he said he agreed and he actully considered her slutty. I thought about it and I realized she was. Maybe she isn't doing it with people, but she is very flirty, even with guys who have girlfriends. After first period I went to second (History) and Jake and I didn't resume our conversation because we instead watched this video and sang the song so many freaking times. After second period we had a R block (short for "Resource", which means it's a study hall) and on the way he sent a text that read "Jaine a slut" or "Jaine's slutty". The only problem was instead of typing my name into the "To" part, he was thinking "Jaine"  and typed her name in. I'm sure you can guess you know where this is going.

     Jaine is now very pissed, as you can imagine. We're hoping she will calm down enough not to tell Guidance. We know she tried today, but Guidance is supper swamped because something is going on (though no one -- "no one" as in students -- seems to know why or what's going on). They probably won't be tomorrow, and if they aren't I'm pretty sure she is going to go to them. While I won't get in trouble (especially because I'm not the one who sent it and I can't be pinned for anything seeing as there is very little evidence of my involvement), Jake can get in trouble. They can say that he is bullying her, even though that text was never meant for here eyes and it's not against the law to not like everyone. Jake tried to cover his tracks by saying he was only joking around with me and saying random things, not things that he meant, but I don't think Jaine is an idiot enough to believe it. I'm worried for him. He's a good guy but he can sometimes really put his foot in his mouth. I hope everything will work themselves out. I really, really hope so.
                              ~ Ariana <3

Evie J ( of the Peace, Love, & Books blog) Blog Layout GIVEAWAY!

Dear Bloggie,
      Since joining Inkpop, I have come across many writers like me (young and unpublished that is). Evie J had three books in the Top Ten before she left the site. THREE BOOKS! I discovered her when her second Inkpop book (Lost Spirits) was climbing the charts. Well, as you know I haven't really been blogging a lot these days, so you can imagine my delight that the day I come check out what has been going on in the great big world of bogging is the day that Evie posts a giveaway. Not just any give away (by the way, I STILL haven't received those books I won from the Treehouse Gang blog!) but a giveaway for a blog layout! I JUST LOVE HER LAYOUTS!!! Really hope I win. I really like the template/layout I have now, but it's just not quite perfect for me. Still, I can't find anything I like better. If I win, I will surely have something better. Here's a link to the contest. May the odds be ever in your favor...

                     ~ Ariana <3

Sunday, March 20, 2011

He Has A New Girlfriend

Dear Bloggie,
     The guy I like. Zach. Yeah, he has a new girlfriend. :'(

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Birthday Girl

Dear Bloggie,
       So yeah, it's my birthday. Just felt like announcing it. I mean, I'm having a small party later, just my close family. If it was up to me, this would be my cake:

   But since I'm saving up for my super sweet sixteen next year, this cake isn't an option. Now, I do have one birthday request. It's quite simple, juts go here (inkpop) and read and comment on the first chapter of The Curse of the Good Girl. Is that too much to ask? I just want to know what people think about it. I haven't worked on it in a few weeks because of my really busy schedule (the play is going good and I'm really excited that we open Friday) but as soon as the play is over, I'm back to business. Well, maybe not exactly when it's over. My goal is actully to restart on April 1st. I thought it would be a funny start date, plus that gives me six days to regroup and redirect my energy into it.
    That's all for now I guess. I don't officially turn fifteen until 5:32 P.M, but whatever. Life's good for now so why complain?

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Random Funny, Sad, & Overall Lovely Things

Dear Bloggie,
  I finally watched (500) Days of Summer today. It's been on my "Movies To Watch" list for a while, but for some reason or another I've been holding off on it, even though I've seen it on the On Demand menu plenty of times. Today, I just decided to get over with. I loved it. And hated it. I loved the main guy character, Tom, but I felt such murderous rage for Summer that it kinda threw me off. No matter how much Summer pissed me off, I found at least one things we have in common.

Oh the Penis game, how fun it is...

   But I guess there are always going to be things in movie that upset you. One of my favorite movies EVER is Juno, but I seriously can't watch the parts that Juno and Mark are getting close without cringing. I guess the movie pie chart is true.

The only thing I rarely do is the purple section

    This hasn't really been a good week for me. Hell, 2010 sucked ass for me. 2011 really hasn't been much better, but at least it hasn't been much worse. I saw this chart today on one of the blogs I follow.

       Now I'm thinking "Oh poop, all except maybe one or two apply to me!" Which isn't good. Then I saw this picture thing on another blog I follow, and I totally relate to it too!

      But, whenever I'm feeling down, alone, and as if nobody gives a crap about me, I''ll just think of the "Penis Game" (like the two guys in this video) and try to laugh it away. It always works, at least for a bit. 

                          ~ XOXO,

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Good Day

Dear Bloggie,
       I checked my email today and guess what I saw? A email from one of the blogs I follow, The Tree House Gang. It turns out I won their book give away. I won signed copies of Michelle Zink's books Prophecy of the Sisters and Guardian of the Gate. They're the first two in her trilogy. I've had these books on my wish list for about a year, but sadly they had been grouped into my list of books that I want, but never seem to actully get around to buying them. You know, those books that you forget about when your at the book store and creating birthday/Christmas lists, but then you hear something about them and you can't help but think to yourself "Darn it, I should have bought/asked for those books."

    From what I've read about them, they remind me of one of my favorite trilogy of all time: The Gemma Doyle Trilogy by Libba Bray. They consist of A Great and Terrible Beauty, Rebel Angels, and The Sweet Far Thing. Some of the best books I have ever read. A true Victorian gothic. Words can not explain how much I love these books. You must all go and buy them. NOW!!!

    I'm teching for a production at my school (A Servant of Two Masters) so this week I'm at school until 8pm. That's from 7:45 am (when I start school, though I get there around 7:30am) until 8pm. Next week -- and most definitely the week after -- I'm staying later. Like 9, 10 and maybe even 11pm later. I started today, only to find out that my Stage Manager, Janie, has been at this for about a month and so has everybody else. Still, I'm the only person besides her (Janie is a freshmen too, she became Stage Manager after the original one became sick and missed too many rehearsals to catch up) who returned their Technician Contracts, making me assistance Stage Manger. Besides the fact that I'm not easing in, but instead jumping in at full force with only three weeks until the show, I may also be the only techy back stage! Janie will be in the above lighting booth during the show, and if no one else returns their forms I will basically have to do it by myself with my only help from Janie coming from a head set. Oh, and have I mentioned that I still have no idea in hell what the play is about (I read the Wikipedia page, but ours in sorta of an adaptation so what I witnessed today was different from what Wikipedia says)?! No pressure of course.

    Now, good news (have to do a good news, bad/good news, good news pattern here): It's March! Thirteen days until my birthday. Fifteenth birthday, here I come. As I said in another post, the only reason I want my fifteenth birthday to come is so my sixteenth will come faster, but whatever. Thankfully, if the schedule stays the same, I should have March thirteenth off. I have to tech the eleventh, twelfth, and fourteenth and so on, but at least my birthday is my off day. Yippee!

     Oh, and one more thing:


Friday, February 25, 2011


Dear Bloggie,
      I have a Formspring, but I don't often check it. I don't really post things about it or anything like that, though it is listed on my Facebook under my websites. Yesterday, I got an email from Formspring saying I had five new questions. Because I don't really share my Formspring, normally my five questions are ones Formspring come up for me.

    The first one was "What language would you like to learn how to speak?" Typical Formspring question. I was about to ignore the rest, but something told me not. That's when I read the next one. "do you think you're a good writer? or do you think ur a bad one? we all know the correct answer do you? we r just trying not to hurt ur feelings bitch!" Obviously, Formspring didn't send me this one.

   I've been harassed by this mysterious person before. I know because I like to think of him or her as 'The person who can't fucking spell". Which just pisses me off to begin with. I'm not a fan of text talk. They get worse. "why are you so ugly?" "why are you so fat?" Then there were two questions that don't fit in with the rest. "who do you like?" and "Who is your bff?"

     I would love to think it's some stupid bitch at my high school, but as I said, I haven't told anyone about it and I've had problems with this Forspringer before. Before I started high school. Before I even graduated 8th grade. That leaves only one alternative: it's someone who's being two-faced with me. I know a boy wouldn't go off like this (boys are different) and any guy I went to middle school with wouldn't really waste his time like this. That leaves the girls. Which hurts a lot more then the words, because I had this feeling of trust with them last year. Well, except with Serena because of our fights, but I know it's not her. On her Formspring there are similar messages there. Text spelling and rude. Whoever wrote on mine, did the same to hers.

    I bet whoever the person behind this is the person who stole my cell phone last year. For those who weren't reading this blog yet, here's a link to my post about it. I had really felt hurt over that. I didn't only feel betrayed, but I also felt such an invasion of privacy. The person had taken it out of my backpack. Went through my phone. Went on my Facebook and sent texts with my name connected to them. It had really bothered me, especially since I never found out who the person was. Especially since I know the person had to be in my grade. Especially since I know the person was somebody I talk to and was around in a regular bases. All that time, they really didn't like me and was totally being two-faced.

    You can see why I link one person (the Formspring person) to another (the phone stealing person). I just wish this person would grow up and get a life. Yeah, their words may bother me, I'm not going to pretend they don't. But I also can only imagine how boring, pathetic, and unsatisfying their life must be for them to do this. One day, I'm going to be somebody, and their still going to be a cyber bully, hiding behind a screen because they're too scared to say it to my face.

   I'm not that biggest Taylor Swift fan (mainly for feminist reasons and because I don't really think she can sing that well, at least not acoustic or live), but her lyrics are very relatable (she is really good at song writing, I'll give her that -- and she has a wonderful sense of fashion). When I was having a hard time last year, I listened a lot to her song "The Best Day" a lot because I could relate my problems to it. My mom was there for me a lot last year so the following lines meant a lot to me:
I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names
I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today

    This time around, it's her song "Mean" that I find myself relating to.

    So thank you Taylor Swift, for writing music that we can all relate to. I don't know what I would do without your music.