Sunday, June 27, 2010

I’m A Bigger Shame to All Feminist than Taylor Swift

Dear Bloggie,
I am a shame to all feminists out there. I really am. I thought I was a good feminist. I believe in equal rights and pay for women. I am Pro-Choice (even though personally I could never have an abortion) because I believe a woman should have control of her body and be able to make the life changing decision to be or not to be a mother. I even read articles and stuff like that so my knowledge on feminism can be greater! Except for my love of Taylor Swift music, dream of being or feeling like (the later being more rational thinking) a princess, and having no problem taking my husbands name someday when I get married (I don’t really like my last name or I wouldn’t change it when I get married) I thought I was a pretty damn strong feminist. Well, for a fourteen year old feminist.

That all changed today when I made the greatest fool of myself. At least I was alone when I did. What happened was I was logging onto my email about ten or so minutes ago when I noticed it said I got a friend request on Facebook. Guess who friended me? I’ll give you a hint; I was supposed to tell you about him today anyways. Yep, my new crush (Dulian Progonati) friend requested me. Of course I almost jumped for joy, then tabbed the page and went on Facebook in 1.5 seconds.

The only thing was I had heard he had a girlfriend, but that was back in September. At the age of thirteen (he’s a year younger than me) most people aren’t in relationships that long, but I had to check. So I went on his page and checked his info. The problem is that I have my language set to Pirate English, which is funny, but hard to understand. So being a overly romantic twit I am, I changed my language to normal English (actually it I changed it to English UK, but it’s still the same so I don’t know why they give you the option between English US and English UK) and went back to his profile so I can see if he has a girlfriend. This is what I saw (I took out his siblings and birthday part for his privacy):

About me
Basic info Gender: Male

Relationship Status: Single
Interested in: Women

Looking for: Friendship
A relationship
Religious views: Albanianism

As you can imagine I was relieved, but at the same time I felt so stupid. I totally had a freak-out (a happy freak-out but that’s not the point) because I guy I’m crushing on friend requested me. It’s not like he asked me to marry him or something, he just simply asked to be Facebook friends! And now I feel like a stupid girly girl. I mean, I’ve always been girly, but I swore to myself I would never again act like a moron because I like a guy after I got over Brennan Graham, the guy who I crushed on from third to sixth grade. Though he had made it extremely clear he didn’t like me and had actually treated me kinda bad, I only got over him after he graduated from eighth grade (he was two years older than me) and I never really saw him again.
I only admitted this to Serena and maybe to my guy friend Corey (we had been three way talking on the phone a lot in the beginning of 7th grade, one of those times we revealed secrets to each other. I don’t remember it was then that I revealed this secret) that I kept on liking Brennan even after he was paid by two girls in my class (I forgave them pretty quickly, and decided never to bring up that subject around them again for the safety and mentality of all involved) to ask me to dance. I thankfully had turned him down because I didn’t have the nerve to dance with him. When I later found out he was paid, I was furious. But what can I say, he’s hot and I fell for him again. This time secretly.

So you can see how my experiences with guys in that past have caused me to be more rational. I can like a guy, but the second I start acting like a love sick moron it’s just sad. I’ve obsessed all this week over the fact that he says hi to me everyday at camp (he works there with me as a junior leader) but actually freaking-out just because he friend requested me? That’s sad. Especially since he friend requested my cousin Brandon who also works with us. I doubt that means he likes him! I’m living in the mall of patheticness, I know.

P.S. The picture I included is of Dulian, but then you probably already guessed that.


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