Boys

Dear Bloggie,

  I wish boys knew how much control over a girl's heart they have. I mean, I'm might be all feminist-y, but that doesn't mean I don't like guys and don't fall hard for them. As much as I STRONGLY DISLIKE Fergie, I find that my life is similar to her song "Clumsy". I mean, I'm never not liking. I always have some crush or another. The only thing is that I never truly get over someone either, I just start liking someone else. That doesn't mean I don't like the other person, it just means that they are no longer my main like. Please don't think this sounds shallow, I'm only 14 and a half; I don't even know myself, never mind my heart.

   All I know is that I like a guy. His name is Zach. He's the one I wrote the Crushing poem for.

I personally think he's hot, except for the little moustache that teen guys always  love to grow, just to prove that they can.

   According to his Facebook profile (I friended him), he's actually 15. He must have stayed back a year somewhere along the line, but whatever. He's both a musician (i.e. the guitar above) and an artist. I've seen some of his drawings, and wow, he's good. My dream guy can draw and play an instrument -- preferably the guitar and-or piano. I also wanted someone who could write me a poem, but two out of three ain't bad. And I'm only just getting to know him, maybe he can write.

   I really like him, but of course he has one problem; he's not over his ex-girlfriend. I mean, he really thinks she's the one. But she broke up with him over a rumour and left him heartbroken. As a friend, when she came up in conversation I of course was all "She'll come around, don't worry!" Inside though, I was dying a bit. I was telling the guy I liked that his ex will come around. I hate irony.

   I mean, for God's sake, she plays the trombone! No offensives to anyone who plays the trombone, but come on! The trombone is a disgusting instrument. Serena played it for a year and I remember there is a part of it that your spit get's caught in and that you have to drain. I'm losing to that!

    Being my stalk-ish self, I went on his page to see what his ex looked liked. After seeing this picture (and clicking on her profile and seeing that she plays the trombone), I've come to the conclusion this is her.

   Obviously he doesn't have anything against chunky girls which really works in my favour. At the same time, my self-esteem just went down. If she doesn't have the best personality EVER, I'm going to seriously cry. Not to be mean, but she's geeky! And she's not even prettier than me. Yeah, she's still skinnier than me, but take away my weight, and I am so prettier than her. I'm also funny and nice and I can be the best girlfriend ever! But he is totally still in love with her.

   If he only could see that while he's crazy for a girl who has moved on, he has a girl totally crazy for him. Grrrr, it's not fair! I was looking for a song that fit my mood when I found this. I put is as my Facebook status while he was online. Not that he would ever know it was geared towards him. These are my favorite lines, the ones I used for my status.

If you only knew that I think about you

In a kinda secret way

I say kind of 'cause well it's obvious

I must be feeling these things 

Too bad you can't tell 'cause 

If you only knew

It would be a dream come true

Standing next to you

And I might go insane to know

That you feel the same as I do

If you only knew...

~ "If You Only Knew" - Savannah Outen

~XOXO,
         Libby