Identity: Who Are You?

Dear Bloggie,

   It’s 12:51 a.m. and I have just finished up my response to some questions my English teacher gave us as homework. I'm a procrastinator, so of course I waited until tonight to do it. The questions were:

 

What is identity? In what different ways do individuals, groups, and cultures identify themselves? Explain. What is your identity?

 

   This is how I answered:

 

   Identity is the way an individual or a group defines themselves. Some ways they do so are in the way they look, act, and speak. The choices each person makes sometimes speak louder then their appearances. Some common ways people use to define themselves are by the way they dress, what grades they have, or what their social, educational, or financial status is.

I identify myself as a brunette female with curly hair and brown eyes, which is visible from the outside. I tend to be shy around new people, but can be completely out there and crazy with my friends and close family. I have always identified more with my mother’s side of the family than my father’s because of the lack of a relationship I have with him. Still, even though my mother is both Brazilian and Portuguese, I have always seen myself as more Portuguese. My Brazilian relatives are for the most part still in Brazil, while my Portuguese relatives are the ones I see regularly for holidays, birthdays, and other celebrations.

I see myself as sarcastic, but I try never to be hurtful. My temper if neutral for the most part, but when I get upset I’m one step away from having smoke coming out of my ears. I do not identify myself as part of any particular group, but instead see myself as a mixture of many. I have a clashing personality and have a hard time making up my mind on many things. But, I am stubborn about the things I feel strongly for and can not be swayed.

 

   I wasn’t going to make a post out of this, but then I thought about something. Since recently discovery I actually have readers, I want to know more about you. So, you don’t have to, but I ask that you leave a comment on how you identify yourself. You don’t have to put ant real names into it or anything like that, I just basically state what makes you you. Hope to hear from you.

 

   ~Libby

Roots

Dear Bloggie,

So Saturday I went to a Portuguese festival in Ludlow, Massachusetts. Now, if you've never been to a Portuguese festival before I'm sure your thinking "Cool". But trust me, it's not. Yes, I love being Portuguese and all, but our festivals kinda suck. Still, they're amusing so I go to two every year. One at the Portuguese church not far from my house around late May, and one in Ludlow around Labor Day.

The festival is the same every year. I go with my mom, her best friend who I call Tia Cathy, and her two children Samantha and Brandon, who I consider my cousins. I know I've mentioned them before so I won't go more into that. Basically what happens every year is that we show up, look around at all these tents that are full of knick-knacks people are trying to sell for outrageous prices, then go up to this small hill where you can light a candle in memory of someone who has passes away. Normally we light one for my grandmother and Sam and Brandon's grandfather, but this year we also lighted one for their uncle who committed suicide almost a year ago . Sam and our mom's did that, while Brandon and I hung around talking about school, friends, ect.

One of my favorite things about a Portuguese festival is our fried dough. Most fried dough is covered in that powered sugar I can't stand, but Portuguese friend dough is covered in real sugar, which makes it ten time better. And ten times worst for you. ;)

Following the fired dough we headed over to the carnival games. I tried one if those drat games and failed at it. The first dark hit the top of the bored – at least a foot away from any of the drawn strawberries I was supposed to be aiming for. The second dart ALMOST made it, but sadly it it hit the leaf instead. Which I consider good enough but the carnie didn’t. Of course, I went on rides too. First I went on the Pharaoh's Furry:

( As you can imagine, this ride turns your stomach into a gymnast)

But that wasn’t my favorite ride. No, my favorite was the Round a Round:

(I forgot to get a picture of it, so on my way out I just took one of the park to use instead; it’s the ride I circled and put an arrow to)

And the cool thing was that the man operating the ride let me and Sam on over and over again for free. Brandon only rode once with us because he gets sick on rides that spin. *shudders at memory*

Sadly no amount of rides can make up for the music they played. But then again, when a CD cover looks like this:

(I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat/ Poor pussy poor pussy cat)

What do you expect from the music inside?

Of course we had to get some souvenirs! My mom got and old fashion baking dish:

(Is it me, or does that design look like it could have been weed in a past life..?)

And a cork decorator for a wine bottle:

(Nothing says “Getting drunk with class” like a chicken!")

While I was torn over what I wanted. First i says these, but my mom said no:

(Sadly the didn’t come with any balls or a pimp hat, so they’re not totally correct)

But then I saw this:

And just knew I HAD to HAVE it! Plus, it lights up!

(Is it me, or does this remind you of Sailor Moon too?)

There is one Portuguese song I love, but sadly they did not play it. it’s about the Portuguese island that my family come from. Thankfully, i found a version of the song on you tube. Ignore the beginning with the the strange people, I don’t know who they are. I only choose this video because the rest has pictures of Madeira (the island’s name, which actually translates to wood…)

During this song, they use traditional clothes that look like this:

(In my opinion the, the female outfit looks like a fancy table cloth)

And someone plays this instrument:

I know these things look a bit ridiculous, but when you live in a houses like this:

(No wonder Portuguese people tend to be short!)

It would be normal to dance to that type of music, with that type of instrument, and in that type of outfit, all those years ago. Now, people just do it for fun.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know a bit of my culture. Before I finish this post, I want to show you pictures of Jonah I found the other day when I was stalking—I mean browsing—his Facebook page.

(Yes, the first two look a bit feminine, so I added the third which is what he looks more like now.)

Sadly, I don’t think anything will ever work out between us seeing as he did not accept my friend request on Facebook. :(

~Libby

Good Girls: What's Their Problem

Dear Bloggie,

I can be rebellious. I can do things just to piss off my mom or see peoples reactions. I love my red hair, but when I pick a color, I normally go for one that will make my mom nervous. Basically, I'm a typical teen in that department.

Still, I'm sort of a good girl. I've never been in a fight (except for yelling) and I respect my teachers (though I curse them in my head when they annoy me). Like my mom, I'm a good girl. Most of the time. I still have my faults and I know it. I don't strive to be perfect, though I wish I did.

The idea of a good girl has always eluded me. Well, like always, when I have an idea I start rolling with it. And what starts simple always grows for me. This is how I came up with the idea for my new novel, The Curse of the Good Girl.

Never fear, I have not ditched C.O.A.O.P, I'm still working on it. But at the same time I'm brainstorming for this novel. I'm trying to storyboard but that's not going very well. Still, I'm having a fun time working on it and coming up with ideas. My main character is Chelsea Frayer, a seventeen-year-old senior who has her whole world turned upside down, leaving her scrambling to play her dutiful part as the good girl. The one who never argues or loses her cool. Who always knows how to act and react. Here, I'll just put up the summery I have right now:

Seventeen-year-old Chelsea Frayer’s senior year has started off less then perfect. Two weeks before schools begins, her long time boyfriend and love of her life Danny Price, cheats on her with her best friend Sydney Thorn. Chelsea, being a good girl, of course forgives. Her perfect eighteen-year-old sister, Tiffany, is pregnant and living in their parents’ basement with her fiancé. Her parents are possibly getting a divorce -– that is if they can stop having affairs and then making up by doing the nasty. She is unwilling nominated (and wins) the spot of school vice president, a job that requires her to spend time with class president Danny. And, to top it all, her cheerleading coach has been fired after caught steeling from the school!

Can Chelsea juggle a dysfunctional family, a flirty maybe not-so-ex, and a scheming best friend –- all the while trying to save her beloved cheerleading squad from demise? Let’s not even mention a certain brooding, artistic, musician who she might want to be more than friends with? What’s a good girl to do…?

What do you think? I like it (obviously) and I really want to write about Chelsea. She's an interesting character. She's the glue in her dysfunctional family, and the person friends go to when they have a problem. On the outside she acts perfect in every way because she sees it as her job. Even if she resents it. She hates the thought of ever being a girly-girl and finds marriage a sham. She is a character I'm having a fun time exploring.

OK, so it's late... -- OH SHIT! It's 2:10am! I have to get up at 6:23am! Goodnight!

~Libby

P.S. I downloaded a free trial of Photoshop and love it! I used it to make the cover. First, I used Photoshop to paint the pink background and add the girl, then I used picnik to add the title, quote bubble, authors name, and happy faces. Too bad my trial is only for 30 days; I only have 22 left.

Want To Hear Something Weird..?

Dear Bloggie,

Want to hear something weird? OK, here it is: I actually have readers! I know, odd. But it's true! I was checking my blog status and found out how many views I have and from what parts of the world. It really surprised me. This has boasted my confidence -- and ego -- quite a bit.

So on to the subject you all really want to hear about: High School. I can truthfully, wholeheartedly, without fear of turning into Pinocchio say, I am loving it at GHAA (pronounced as Gaw -- and abbreviation for Greater Hartford Academy of the Arts; my mom thinks it's funny that I'm using the lingo). I have met some really nice people, most of whom I believe are on their way to becoming my friends.

I met these two boys who I really like. Not like-like, but in a only friends way. I met Nick when I went for my placement exams -- I had also met Nick's friend Emily, who I just so happen to have all my morning/routine classes with -- and had liked him right away. He's nice and a "little" out there. OK, really out there, but in a good way. He's the type of person who is always happy and nice to everyone. He never shies away from the spotlight or anything like that. I wish I had his confidence. You always need one of those type of friends in your life.

The other guy is named Noah. I've hung out with him most of the day. Actually, I found out that he used to attend SBS back in Kindergarten. I even checked out the video montage that we all got on class night, and there he is in the Kindergarten class photo. It's pretty funny.

He's friends with Nick, but that's not how I met him. I met him yesterday when we got put into the same group for icebreakers. I was alone for most of lunch, but as we were going inside he called me over and said for our group to stick together. And for the most part, the people I met in the icebreaker thing, is the people I socialize with now. Of course, Nick brought friends in and others met more people, so I ended up meeting a lot people. Our table was so super packed at lunch that we needed to pull up many chairs. I have one class with Noah (American Literature Honers) and one class with Nick (U.S. History Honers) so I'm happy enough.

Towards the end of the day I met this nice girl that I really liked. Sadly, I didn't catch her name because I wasn't really paying attention in the beginning of our conversation. For all I know maybe she is meant to be my new best friend and I will never know because I missed her name! I know, that thought is ridiculous, but still.

Tomorrow is thankfully my last day of orientation and Thursday I will finally get to start on my classes. Yay! Well, my art classes since I already started on my academic classes. (Only in meeting my teachers and getting to know peoples names, not actual work.)

When I got home today I friend requested everyone I met -- that I could remember their name or find them on someone else's page. I was thinking about friending this guy named Jonah Sparrow -- I think he's hot -- but I chickened out. :(

Now it's almost 11 and I watch to watch one of my favorite shows, Chelsea Lately. I just love Chelsea Handler. I mean, when she writes a book like this (look below) how can I not?

( I haven't read it, but I am dying to)

But before I do, I recommend you listen to the song "On the Brightside" by Never Shout Never. I especially recommend that you listen to it while eating bagels that your school had provided as a welcome breakfast, one of your maybe-friends playing it on her ukulele while singing it with the help of another maybe-friend. It's an awesome experience. Not that I would know of course... ;)

~Libby

Finding Neverland

Dear Bloggie,

   I said I would post at the end of the month because I wanted to make a special post for my 50th post, but I changed my mind. Well, I changed my mind about what the post will be about. Today I realized something and I knew that this is what my 50th post was suppose to be about. Not books or my summer, but that I’m growing up.

     After a hectic 8th grade year and almost 8 months is blogging, I realized that things are never going to be how they were and that’s OK. Because life is never how it used to be. Life changes everyday and we must work hard to try to stop it. We try to keep our lives simple and average, but there is not such thing as average.

    Today I was on inkpop, when I found this thread on the forums called “How would you describe your Character”. These were the questions:

a) what's one word to describe your character
b) what's one word to describe his/her best friend
c) what's the basic premise of your story?

     This is how I described Angela:

A) I would describe Angela as a contradiction and totally nuts. She views the world in a cynical and sarcastic way but at the same time she still seems to be more of a “glass half full” than a “glass half empty” type of person. She makes big decisions in the heat of the moment and only realizes later when things don’t turn out the way she want them to that maybe she should have given it more thought.

   This is how I described Lindsea:

B) Her best friend Lindsea is the exact opposite. She’s grounded and level minded. She helps to keep Angela out of serious trouble because she tends to think things through a lot more. She is also a vegetarian and an activist for animal rights. Sometimes she gets caught up in Angela’s wild side and let’s loose, but it never lasts more than a day.

And then I stopped, trying to think of a way to describe be my story. After much thought I can to this:

C) The Confessions of an Optimistic Pessimist series is about how Angela and her friends slowly but surely are faced with the fact that they are growing up and experiencing new things – like boys, new friends, and having to mature and become a bit more serious about life and what they want from it. But at the same time they try to stay who they have always been and try to keep their world as relatively sane as possible as they journey out of their small middle school and into high school.

    That’s when I realized that Peter Pan was right. I mean, I always thought it was ridiculous to  stay 12 forever. I mean, no boys, no dating, no prom, no career, no marriage, no babies. Aren’t those the things that are supposed to make life worth living?

    But now I realize I wish I had stayed 12 forever. It’s a wonderful year where your starting to grow up so your smarter than kids younger than you,  but at the same time you have almost zero responsibilities. To be free to goof off and be yourself. To be live life as one big adventure. That is what life is about. That is something that as you get older you miss. Having a childish wonder of the world whiling still being for the most part naïve is something you lose.

    I wish I didn’t have to grow up. I wish Peter Pan came to me tonight and brought me to Neverland so I would stay a child forever. Sword fighting and princesses and fairies. They are all apart of childhood. you believe in so much when you are young. You believe in Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy and even the Easter Bunny. I don’t believe in any of that anymore.

    If places like Neverland were real, or places like Narnia were real, I would escape to them. Because the real world is frightening. They want you to conform and be perfect and I don’t want to be perfect. I like being flaw and different. I even have a book idea over this call called Tainted (I don’t think I ever mentioned it before; It’s dystopia genre novel).

    But at the same time change is inevitable. Life is change. For that I guess we all just have to deal. Sometimes change brings good things, sometimes it brings bad. Either way, change is change. It doesn’t do things to piss us off, it just takes it’s natural course.

    So thank you for joining me on my 50th post and the changes that have occurred since the first. If I don’t runaway to Narnia or Neverland by tomorrow, than I will post my summer book review either tomorrow or Sunday. But, looking at Peter Pan right there, wouldn’t you want to runaway to Neverland with him… ;)

~XOXO,

     Libby

 

 

 

 

(This was him back in 2004 when he was 13 or 14 and did Peter Pan; now he is  older and is how I would imagine my character Ian Sinclair – form my book Becoming – would look like)

Are You There Blog? What’s Wrong With Boys?

Dear Bloggie,

    I know I said I wasn’t going to blog for a while. And I’m not. After this post. I promise that my next post will be at the end of the summer  so I can celebrate having reached 50 posts. (Is it really appropriate to celebrate when the only reason I started a blog is because I had major drama issues this year?)

    Now, to the reason why I’m blogging. So months ago (I don’t even know when, that’s how long! Wait, I think I made one last summer. Yeah that sounds about right…) I joined espin.com. Yeah, I know it’s a sorta corny dating site. But it’s for teens and besides taking quizzes, completely my profile, and friending people, I have never used my account. I don’t have the nerve to start a conversation with a total stranger, never mind a total stranger who I think looks cute.

     In the past I have gotten IMs from people, but I never actually talked to them. I would just exit the little chat box and they would get the hint I don’t want to talk. But today, as I longed in, I noticed someone had IMed me when I was off so it just got saved. This is what it said:

hey good looking do you like gifted white boys

    Yes, that’s what it said. I kid you not. I swear that I will never get a normal guy to fall for me. The only guy who might have liked me ( I heard the rumor he liked me) was a boy named Noah in Kindergarten. Before you go all “Awww” you have to know that Noah was known as the boy who did disgusting things and loved to say “bathroom words”. I hope you understand what “bathroom words” meant because I don’t want to put it on my blog.

    I checked out his profile (because I’m that desperate and an idiot) and it says he’s from Sarepta, Louisiana. Of course it would be a southern boy. I was just having a conversation with my mom earlier about chivalry and how it’s dead. But then I remembered there are supposed to be “Good ol' Boys” in the south. If this is any indication, all I’ve gotta say is “Good ol’ Boys” my ass. (Side Note: Of course as I write this and have iTunes on shuffle through The Killers’ songs, their song “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town” would be playing. It’s very country sounding song. But then it was originally by Kenny Rogers and the First Edition.)

    I mean, he does sound like my type. His profile says he is 5’6, has short blonde hair, green eyes, and is 15, but still. It was a weird way to get my attention. Plus their is always the question of what he meant by “gifted”…

     I’ll have to text Neena about it tomorrow and ask her opinion on the situation. The thing, not the person of course! 8P

    Plus, I’ll just have to wait for his pictures to come up. His profile shows he has some , but they need to be approved by the head people of espin before they can become official profile pictures since this is a teen site. So right now they are blank looking pictures under his picture category. My life can never be simple can it?

~ Libby :)

P.S. My story C.O.A.O.P is number 206 right now!

P.P.S. Funniest phrase of the week: Dr. Killer. Taco!  8*P