So Yeah, Time To Get Sorta Serious

Bloggie,
       So I've lost five or more pounds in the last two weeks. I'm was really surprised to be truthful. You see, I'm sorta on this diet. Officially I'm sorta telling people that it's under 1000 calories a day, but to be truthful I wouldn't be happy if I ate 1000 calories. So I guess I'm on a 500 calorie diet though I wish I could be on a 300 calorie diet. But 300 calories is little when you realize how many calories are in food. I went to the store yesterday with my mom to pick up somethings my mom needs to make the dessert I'm bringing to the Junior Leaders potluck on Friday (of which, even though I'm bring it, I can't eat because it's dessert and dessert is never healthy), and I almost had a meltdown. I kept checking all the labels on the foods I want to eat and then almost cried when I realized I can't touch them at least until my birthday (which is when I need to fit into this beautiful dress I saw online for my Sweet Sixteen even though I can actually have it made basically in any size, I want to look good in it, and I'm not sure if I'm going to do it in this color and please ignore the price -- I'm well aware I'm out of my mind). I left there very depressed to say the least, but it will be worth it in the end.

      I've picked up many diet tips like how sugar free gum helps you curve cravings and burn calories. Not many, but if you chew a stick of gum for an hour you can burn 10-11 calories, and adding how many calories your burning by chewing gum and not picking at food, that's 35-40 calories and hour! I know, not a lot, but it's a start. I also drink A LOT of water (strangely I don't need to pee more then usual) and I've also tried the bouillon cube thing (if you put a bouillon cube into hot water you can make soup that is only 5 to 15 calories depending on the calories in your bouillon cube; sadly I haven't found the one that is only 5 calories) and I've been eating a lot of salad with a piece of chicken breast and two table spoons (the serving size) of light French dressing. Then I'm at camp and this week I'm with Unit A (the 5 and 6 year-olds) so I've been on my feet all day (I swear most of the five pounds have been lost just in the past three days).

     I had 780-810 calories on Monday (which is a lot if you ask me, but at least I'm under 1000, even though I sorta binged that day by accident) and I had 497 yesterday (which is getting better) and today I've had 310 by now but I haven't eaten dinner yet. I'm going to probably do the boullion cub thing with a piece of chicken breast. I'm adding the chicken breast because if I don't then my mom will give me another talk about the line between eating healthy and being malnourished. Which is ridiculous since if you look at me you'll seen that there is no freaking way I'm malnourished. But I guess one of my aunts (she's actually my mom's first place cousin so that makes her my second place cousin, but since she's in her thirties I call her my aunt) suffered from an eating disorder when she was like in her teens or early twenties and all she did was eat salad and exercise like crazy until she was like really sick. Like  you could definitely tell she was anorexic or something.

      So when I said that all I wanted to eat was salad and chicken my mom gave me a speech. Then yesterday when I told her I wish I could eat ice cream, but I already had consumed 400 calories for that day, she gave me another speech saying 400 calories is basically nothing. Which is a ridiculous things to say because 400 is a big number. She was all like "Most diets are supposed to be over 1000 calories" and I was like "Over 1000 calories! That's nearly half a pound!" Which led to another talk about vitamins and nutrition and blah, blah, blah. All the stuff I already know of because of the internet. I plan in taking vitamins soon. So I can stay healthy and all. Plus, taking a few pills of Vitamin D a day will burn about 225 calories a day! I do a lot of research.

      Overall this is going quite well. I just need to keep the eye on the prize. And when I seriously need something sweet I just drink Diet Coke. 0 calories but definitely good. Once the school year starts I'll being eating less calories because I'm going to do the bouillon cube thing for lunch. I'd say wish me luck, but I don't need it. You know why? Because I have this.

OK, I don't really, but I wish I did. If he were real, I would marry Neville. I'm in love with Neville Longbottom. Why? I'm not sure. I think it's because he's always been the good guy. He's an all around good person who cares for his friends and even though he's sorta dorky, he is willing to die for what he believes in. I loved the part in Deathly Hallows Part 2 when he was all like "It doesn't matter if Harry is dead, people die everyday. Friends, family." And then he said more and basically ended it with saying that Voldemort will die on vain and pulled the Sword of Gryffindor out of the sorting hat like the BMAF he is. If only he were real, is only....

                 
            P.S. There is this Facebook like page that I totally agree with. It's called "Only Neville can go into battle in a knitted cardigan & still look Badass."Which is totally true:

Point Proven.

                  ~XOXO, 

                           Ariana

Weekend Update With Me

Dear Bloggie,


    So my diet is going pretty well. I mean, except for this weekend. What happened was I had my junior leader meeting on Saturday. We had a photography class at U of H (University of Hartford) from 9am to about 1pm, then we all went to Six Flags for Fright Feast. One, Fright Feast was a BIG let-down (plus people were acting like idiots and I somehow managed to trip over a tiny rock and hurt my ankle -- I've been limping since Saturday night now-- which just made things crappier), and two, there is, like, no healthy food at Six Flags. The healthiest thing is a salad, which given that their only dressing choice that I would like with it is ranch, makes it not so healthy. I've been replacing ranch with French dressing, which is a lot less calories.


   In the end I ate a grilled chicken wrap -- it's lettuce with two strips of grilled chicken on top, ranch dressing for taste, though I guess I shouldn't have added the ranch. I already had a bagel with cream cheese and a bottle of Coke earlier. Basically, Saturday was a no diet day. Sunday wasn't much better because my mom surprised me by making buttermilk pancakes since I had mentioned a couple days before how I haven't had them in a long time. My initial reaction was to turn them down -- I'm quite proud of myself for that -- but I couldn't because she made them specially for me. Thankfully, I walked around A LOT at Six Flags, so I only feel half guilty.


   There is one things I want to add before I go. I was eating lunch with my group, when I looked over and saw this sad, lonely, old man. He was sitting there by himself, food resting in front of him as he peered off into the distance with a cheerless look on his face. It appeared as if he was waiting for someone. Wife, kids, grandkids? Who knows. We were in the eating area for over thirty minutes at least, and no one showed.


   I pointed this out to the girl I was sitting with, Annalise, and she, like me, got all sad. He just looked so freaking lonely. We wished we could just go over and talk to him. Of course we couldn't; for all we knew he could have been a perverted, pedophilic, rapist. We have no way of knowing.


  Still, I wish the world was just a good place filled with people who are just straight forward with their intentions, all of them being good intentions. In that world, Annalise and I could have gone over to him and talked, either keeping him company until his family/people he was waiting for showed up, or at least talking to him and finding out why he was by himself. Poor old man. This is a good reminder on why you should treat your grandparents nicely. Remember that.


~XOXO,
       Libby

Chanting Myself For Motivation

Dear Bloggie,


    I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to lose weight.


    I'm telling myself now, not just hoping. I'm tired of being fat. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and totally be comfortable with my body. I'm not saying I hate myself right now, no, I don't have that bad of a confidence, but I feel like my weight holds me back.


   Any ounce of shyness I have, resonates from my weight problem. I'm always scared that people are going to judge me for that and not for who I am. I mean, I'm crazy and can be a bitch (does that make me a crazy bitch? Have to sleep on that startling conclusion...) but I'm also crazy loyal too. Which is actually bit of a bad thing, as seem by anyone who has read about my friendships problems on this blog.


   The point being, if I were skinnier I would be more comfortable. If someone doesn't like me -- in a friendship and/or a romantic way -- I want it to be because, well, they don't like me. Not that they are all "She's that fat girl." No, I'm tired of that. 


   OK, to begin with weight lose is a lot easier said than done. According to internet/Doctor-y things, my weight should be between 127 to 141 is I'm average to medium framed, or 137 to 155 if I'm just big boned. I'm not sure which one I am seeing as the only time in my life that I was skinny to average was when I was a baby. By the time I hit two, I was already packing on the pounds. Still, when your two it's cute to be chunky. You have a Pooh belly, as my mother used to call it. When your 14, it's NOT cute AT ALL. 


    Taking this all into consideration, I've decided that my ideal weight is 130. That's how much I want to weigh. Considering what my weight is, I have a long way to go. I'm not going to say how much I exactly weigh, but to be happy enough with myself by my 16th birthday, I have to lose 100 pounds. Yes, you read that correctly. 


   The summer before seventh grade I was at camp with Serena and we were part of many programs. One of them was called Healthy Choices. That summer, I lost about 10 to 15 founds in six weeks. And that was with only exercising three or four days a week. If I work out from Monday to Thursday, when again on Saturday, I think I can meet my goal. 


   Of course I have to eat healthy too. I mean, I can work out for ten hours at the gym (I like treadmills, those bike things, and stair steppers, plus my mom's best friend and her daughter -- I've mentioned them before, my Aunt Cathy and Sam -- are thinking of joining a Zumba class, and they have invited me along), but if I eat stuff that is totally unhealthy for me, I might as well do nothing. I love salads, really I do. So that's a start. I also love cherries and green grapes. Now, if I could only eat  more of those foods and none of the foods that are fattening, then I can get somewhere. 


   Wish me luck. Tomorrow I officially start my diet. Let's hope it works. 


~XOXO,
            Libby

Inspired By The Count Himself

Dear Bloggie,

   One of my all-time favorite movies is The Count Of Monte Cristo. It all starts with an uneducated, innocent and painfully naïve clerk’s son named Edmond Dantès who finds himself betrayed by his best friend, a rich man named Fernand Mondego. Fernando, despite his wealth, power, and suave, is not happy with what he has. Even worse, he is extremely jealous of Edmond for being happy with what little he does have. So, as a way to not only remove the source of his jealousy, and to take Edmond’s beautiful, kind, and smart fiancée, Mercedès Iguanada, he has Edmond thrown in prison for treason.

 

   I might be spoiling it a bit, but I might as well tell you just a bit more. After years of imprisonment, he finally was able to escape (with the help of a dear friend, and in an interesting way).  A few chance encounters (meaning an awesome fight, a couple years of being a pirate, and whole lot of money) later, he become the Count of Monte Cristo. Rich and educated -- both in the mind and in his fighting skills -- he is no longer naïve. Instead he is hell bent on revenge for what Mondego and his accomplices have done to him.

 

   Though I have heard the movie is the not the best version of the book, and that it is actually quite different from the original story, I can’t help but love it. It takes place in the 1800’s, which is my favorite century EVER! I swear, if I couple go back in time, I would live in 19 century Europe. Mainly England and France, with the occasional trips to places like Italy, and Greece, and Ireland, and Portugal, and Spain. Maybe even Germany, it was good back then. OK, so I love Europe as a whole. Well, I love western Europe, anyways.

 

   So onto why I’m talking about this. After the Count becomes, well, a count, he throws a lavish ball, inviting anyone who is anyone to meet him. Including he enemies, of course. The invitations he sends out are just breathtakingly beautiful. The theme for my sixteenth birthday (only about a year and a half away!) is a masquerade. When I saw the invitations I was stunned; I want them. But how and where do I get them? And really, shouldn’t I be thinking of other things like losing weight (a lot of weight) so I can fit into a beautiful ball gown.  I mean, I found this site that makes gowns for Sweet Fifteen’s (or Quinceanera as the Spanish say) and Sweet Sixteen's. They have my size, but I don’t want to be the fat girl in the beautiful gown. No, I want to be the beautiful girl in the gown which is beautiful, but can not compare to her beauty. OK, so maybe that’s taking it a bit far, but the point is that I want the dress to compliment me, not be what people see, saying to themselves “Wow, that dress is so beautiful. Too bad it can’t make her more beautiful.”

 

  I’m not saying I want to a stick or look sick. God no, I think those models that are size 00’s are too skinny. But I would love to  definitely be under a size ten, basically around six and eight. That means, that for my body type ( I am bigger boned than most, like Jordan Sparks or Khloe Kardashian, except -- sadly -- without the super model height) I should be somewhere between the 130’s to 150’s. I’m 5’5, almost 5’6 so I can pull it off easily. Maybe I’ll finally get an ass, unlike the flat thing I have right now.

 

   Basically, I’m asking, does anyone have any diet tips? The gym won’t let me sign up until I’m fifteen (which I am SO doing when I turn fifteen), but until then I need help. I’m looking for more on things that are healthy for me to eat. Excise isn’t easily attainable for me, so I’m hoping that eating well and getting excise on Fridays during my three hours of dance classes (they serve as my gym credits at an art school) and my daily walk up and down stairs, through the campus to the Commons Building where I have lunch, then back to the main building and up the stairs again to class, will be enough until I turn fifteen. I would tell you my weight, but I’m not sure what it is. The last time I weighed myself was mid-summer when I had that ear infection and had to go to a walk in clinic; my doctor was closed seeing as it was a Sunday, but I was in too much pain not to go. They needed to get all my health info, so they weighed me. Let me tell you, I’m not proud at all. Even worse, I know I’ve gained weight since.

 

   I’ve been eating salad at school either once or twice a week, depending on how unappetizing the food sounds. My school is not know for it’s cuisine. I really like salad, but only romaine and/or iceberg lettuce. Add ranch and I’m good. Add in that my school also offers deli mean with it and the salad is awesome. Deli meat turkey on it tastes a lot better than it sounds, trust me, I know food. The only problem, with the weather cooling down, I want something warmer. So I brave the cafeteria food, even though it looks disgusting, is ehhh, and is probably not very good for you. Life is conflicting.

 

~XOXO,
     Libby